Stop Saying, "Not My Type."

Mon, 09/14/2009 - 23:40 —Swati

“Nah, not my type,” Jack whispered to me. This was at a party we attended last weekend, where a common friend introduced us to a pretty girl. Considering that he always emphasizes on the need to “think out of the box,” his boxed idea of making friends was rather surprising. 

The ‘My Type’ Syndrome: Making Friends

The very concept of ‘my type of a person’ negates the recognition of individual entity. By making sets of people, we ignore the fact that each one of them has a unique identity. People have complex sets of characteristics, values and experiences. Generalising them based on certain assumptions will, most probably, give an inaccurate image of people.

Making Friends beyond Regularity

Not only does stereotyping limit our views of people, it can let us pass some of the most wonderful opportunities. Often our perceptions while making friends are restricted to certain areas because of the not-so-broad experience that have constituted our lives till then. This may be due to our vision being limited to what we consider “regular.” However, it should not lead one to decide that there is no compatibility beyond regularity. 

I have never been to Sweden and know nothing of its people, landscape and climate. Does this mean that my visit to the country is bound to not please me? I doubt it. Discovering new things, new places and, more significantly, new people is an essential part of our lives. Building a wall between ourselves and other people with dissimilar sensibilities may deprive us of the opportunity to form great relationships. We may also be relinquishing some of the most important lessons of our lives. While people similar to me are likely to think in the same way about me as I do, a person with foreign traits usually helps me know more about myself.  

Making Friends, the Right Way

Hence, it sounds more progressive to abandon the ‘type’ tag one has labeled himself with. Also, it makes more sense to step out of one’s comfort zone and actually make an effort towards expanding it. The best way we can live our lives is by filling it with people that can add value to it. Thus, there is a need to move away from limiting ourselves to what we have got by chance towards actively making a choice. 

So, don’t go out making friends with preconceived notions. Be experimental. After all, going by the old saying - “opposites attract.”